What do you do when you're falling apart and none of the kings men know what to do either?

This has been going on for a while now and you might think I would just get use to it already but instead I am slowly freaking out a little more every day. This has been a really bad past year and maybe it's just all the stress added to everything else but I'm reaching my breaking point.


I'm sick. All the freaking time. And no I'm not just talking about in my head, but there is that too (and I'm sure it is not helping). What my doctor has deemed "IBS" (which stands for "I'm Baffled, Shit...), has gotten far too out of hand at this point. As if people love talking about this let alone reading about it, but as I said before, some times reading about someone else going through the same thing I am makes me feel better and I hope that maybe I can do the same for others.


So the point I'm at; I had my gallbladder removed a couple of months ago due to infection (and stones). I was already starting to fall apart then but it seems to still be getting worse. So this "IBS" which was deemed on me after running some blood test and not really showing anything they already had a name for, has been with me a while but it seems that over the last few months, it now owes my ass (get it?).
 

I haven't had a solid stool in months. I have to poop on demand no less the 5 times a (and that is the low end number). My ass is raw from all the stomach acid I pass and I never know when it's going to strike which makes planning any time away from home and little stressful (Like volunteering in my kids classroom).

Side note: I just had more blood work done on Monday but have not heard anything back.

Well I think last night was my all time low point. I shit myself in my sleep. This is nothing anyone every wants to have to admit to and I only tell it here because this is supposed to be my way of getting it out of my head some it doesn't eat me alive (but it might anyway).

 Now I'm going to guess that it happened sometime very shortly after falling asleep. I take sleep meds because I'm a chronic insomnia (just another of my lovely issues) and most of the time once I fall asleep I am dead to the world. SO when I woke up far sooner then I normally would, and realized what had happened, I jumped out of bed and got cleaned up with I guess you can say minimal damage. I'm guessing I most likely woke myself up knowing what happened without my whole brain being on board yet and lord knows when I've got to go, it now of never so any slow up can result in tragedy. But none of this make me feel any better and SHITTING MYSELF IN MY SLEEP. It's a pretty big low point for me.

 Next up; I tell you about how I’ve gone from having very thick hair most of my life to approaching bald and the decisions I have to make about it.

Tah-Duh!

I've been meaning to start a blog for sometime now but as with all things in my life, it has taken a back seat to my soon to be 5 year old. The idea of this blog is just to write about what ever comes to mind at the time I get to sit down and write. Most of these will get cut off because I don't get the time I'd like to get things done, but instead of just not doing it (or deleting what I do get to write) I'm just going to go ahead with what I've got. This is something new I'm learning to do and this whole "project" is for me and me alone but if you enjoy it, you are welcome to tag along.


"But if this is just for you, then what is the point of putting it on line?” you might ask. Well because some thing I have learned over the past year or so is that I'm a mess and when I read about other people who are just as big of a mess as I am, it makes me feel a little more (what's the word?) "normal".


So that's the point of this, to talk about whatever. Oh and my warning to those of you who do read this and feel like commenting on anything, I'm a crappy speller (dyslexic) and I'm even worse at editing my own stuff, so if you're going to get you panties in a bunch over misspellings, then turn away now cause it's only going to get worse. Plus sometime I misspell or have bad grammar on propose but I’m not going to tell you when, so if you get it, you get it. If not, oh well.


 Alright I’m going to post this just to get this thing running and I’ll get back to it when I get some free time (uhahahahahaha) or I make some time is more like it.